Mostly about my amusement

Tag: wedding anniversary (page 1 of 1)


I'm sitting in bed typing this and Lily is reading a Chinese newspaper she picked up after dim sum with The Girl this morning. She wants to keep those language skills alive. Tomorrow morning I'll read this one last time and then press "Publish".

It will be July 16th, 2014 and I'll have been married for twenty years. I've been with her for more than half of my life. Memory works by association and I remember all of those years from when I first met her.

It's easy for me to remember. A smell, a word, a sound and I can associate it with something involving her.

I can do the same thing from before we met but those memories are strange.

I remember my family. I remember school. I remember summers upstate for weeks running around in just shorts and nothing else. Shoes at home will always be optional for me because of that.

She's there in those memories but she's not. It's like she's off stage and just hasn't stepped into the scene.

I'm learning how to swim in a lake and she's just out of sight at the shore. I'm coming back from the grocery store for my mother carrying 2 big brown bags full of food and she's just around the corner. I am speaking with my grandmother and she's there listening to every word. I'm learning that I have some of my other grandmother's gift with animals and she's nearby but she doesn't like dogs. I'm climbing a tree and she's waiting for me to come down. I'm in high school and my grandmother is gone. She's reaching out to me waiting to hug me.

She's there and I can't explain it. It feels like I've known her, wept with her, lived with her and loved it all my whole life.

We're meeting for the first time. I'm nervous and I don't know what to do or say. My friend introduced us. I don't know how I have the confidence to speak with her and I'm speaking too much. I'm meeting her family and working hard to impress them. I'm holding her hand. She's meeting my family. We're starting our own family. We're doing things together, big things. It's all so easy saving, planning, doing it all with her.

She's reading this. She's here. She's with me.

19 Years ago today

Time goes by but it doesn’t feel like it does. Lily and I have been married for 19 years today.

What was it like back then?

  • 19 years ago I was threatening Lily’s maid of honor with physical harm for being late and holding us up.

It all worked out for the best and we’re still great friends.

  • 19 years ago my best man was making jokes on the altar while I was attempting to look serious in a rented monkey suit.

It was a Catholic mass. When he got married in a Tibetan Buddhist ceremony I paid him back by standing next to him and treating the priest’s chanting like it was something you dance to.

  • 19 years ago Father Felix’s homily described our future life as me being married to June Cleaver.

We laughed as she’s not like that at all and none of the women in my family are either. That is such a good thing. I like being married to a modern woman.

  • 19 years ago Lily and I almost dropped to the floor coming down the aisle together.

Her family thought those loud party poppers were a good idea in said Catholic church. That’s how they ended the ceremony with organ music and a big bang. We thought people were shooting at us.

It’s all the same and it’s all different.

There have been changes in the scenery meaning we’ve moved.

Our family has gained and lost members in that time and not everyone is still with us from that day. I don’t like to dwell on that as I learned too early that life goes on.

We’ve a boy and a girl. Raising a daughter scares me. I grew up with 3 brothers and a squad of cousins, there were very few girls in my family. Our son is a handful but so was I.

We’ve both changed but we’ve both stayed exactly the same. I’ve always felt like I have known her my entire life and I totally mistake that she wasn’t around for the first 21 years.

We usually don’t celebrate our anniversaries and we laugh together when we realize that we’ve missed one again.

19 years of being married? I would not change a thing and would do it all over again without hesitation. That’s got to be the best recommendation for married life that I can say. It’s been great and I’m still head over heels crazy for her.

Even though she’s married to a big kid I’m reasonably confident she feels the same way. I’ll ask her again, you know, just to make sure.

In our time together I’ve learned to reach for the stars and I look forward to at least 50 more anniversaries to come.

50 years is a good target. With Lily I can accomplish anything.