Mostly Harmless

Mostly about my amusement

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Really? Congratulations!

I get odd solicitation calls but occasionally people dial it up to eleven to try and sell things.

Yesterday Lily got a call at the store from someone looking for me. It happens and I’m pretty sure that Googling my name might lead you to the store’s WordPress site.

What was odd was that they’d pronounced my name perfectly and seem to have a Polish accent.

Lily got the phone and had this conversation.

Sales Monkey: Can I speak with Jan Dembowski?

Lily: He’s not here. Who is this and why are you calling?

Sales Monkey: Do you know when he’ll be back?

Note to Sales Monkeys everywhere? When my wife asks you a direct question just get to the point. Do not make her repeat herself. She can track down your boss, call him if she wants to and hurt you in “ways”.

Lily: Why are you calling?

Sales Monkey: Does he speak Polish and have life insurance?

Ah ha! Yep, Sales Monkey. This is the same person who called me at the house looking to speak to and sell life insurance to my late Dad. That was a fun conversation.

In short order Lily explained that we’ve got that covered and stop tracking me down. I don’t speak Polish and these are not the marks you are looking for.

Sales Monkey: (Incredulously) He does not speak Polish? He is not from Poland?

Lily: He doesn’t and he was born here in the United States.

Sales Monkey: Oh. Congratulations!

I had no idea I was special for that reason. I alway thought it was my carefully honed sense of humor.