Report from the home front

As I embark on taking care of the household while Lily is away, I thought it would be a good idea to take notes for when she returns on the 2oth.

It’s like a blog within a blog and I’m going to have fun with it.

Monday Day 1

https://twitter.com/#!/jan_dembowski/status/179150138676232192

That didn’t go very well.

Last night my son had some sort of bug and was tossing his cookies all night long. Fortunately I had help but I was in no condition to go to work today.

The children are cooperating and I’m really pleased. They’re doing their home work, eating their meals, and peacefully playing with each other. It’s actually kind of nice and quiet.

I could get used to this. I do miss my wife, but this extra alone time with the kids is a welcome change.

Tuesday Day 2

https://twitter.com/#!/jan_dembowski/status/179530235857997824

Sigh, the kids are acting up.

It’s only little things but they’ve learned to repeat phrases like “Mom would let us do that” and “That’s not what Mom said”.

At what age did I become contrary like that?

They are being very disrespectful and I’m patiently explaining that

  1. that’s not true about Mom and
  2. I’m the one in charge.

Nothing to get excited about, just kids being kids.

Wednesday Day 3

https://twitter.com/#!/jan_dembowski/status/179888060224389120

Without meaning to I’m sleeping later in the morning. This has lead to my parking the car and running like a madman to the train.

I don’t get it. It’s like I’m getting up a full 30 minutes later.

The kids are acting odd. It’s like they are taking turns testing me and how I’ll react. They don’t do it at the same time but it’s like one will wait in the wings while the other tests my defenses. That’s weird!

It’s probably nothing. I’m tired from a lack of sleep.

Thursday Day 4

https://twitter.com/#!/jan_dembowski/status/180233203100024833

The alarm was set to 30 minutes later!

At first I thought it was Lily’s doing but now I’m not sure. The kids are acting so strange.

They’re planning something and I think they somehow resent that I’m in charge. It’s a struggle to get them to do things.

I’m not sleeping too well, I never do when the wife is away.

Friday Day 5

https://twitter.com/#!/jan_dembowski/status/180587857365311489

I made to the right train today!

I had to get up really early (why is the alarm set to 5:15 AM? doesn’t matter) but I was on time.

My co-workers have been teasing me about being by myself without adult supervision. Also they’ve notice that I’ve not shaved my beard this whole week.

Lily doesn’t like me with a beard but she’s in Mumbai. So there.

I’m still not sleeping well. It’s making me a little disorientated.

Saturday Day 6

https://twitter.com/#!/jan_dembowski/status/180972846791659520

Where am I? How did I get here?

I seem to be in charge of some sort of military camp. My two underlings aren’t like me; I think they’re part of the local native population.

The resentment that these “children” are harboring for me is intense. They can’t seem to be able to follow instructions and keep asking for the previous Administrator.

I keep telling them “I’m in charge and that’s that!” but it’s just not placating them.

I may need to implement a more strenuous process and procedure.

At work we are trained that with the correct process documentation anything is possible. And with that process a lack of accountability is successfully achieved.

That must be true, that’s what the compliance and audit people say.

Sunday Day 7

https://twitter.com/#!/jan_dembowski/status/181320558657544194

I’ve begun to gather evidence of the crimes being perpetuated against my lawful administration. At the moment it’s all circumstantial but as I am the judge and jury of the court I don’t expect any problems.

The natives are almost in full revolt. They keep complaining about the tasks that they are asked to do, something about “child labor laws”. I just don’t get it. They’re 8 and 10 years old and all I’m asking them to do is a little factory work.

Children have been working in factories for over 100 years. Everyone her has to pull their own weight and I see nothing wrong with these people working till midnight to help pay the bills.

This great nation of ours doesn’t run on good wishes you know. How can I run a benign dictatorship without money?

It’s all very distracting and just adds to my lack of rest. I feel like I haven’t slept in days.

Some other day later

https://twitter.com/#!/jan_dembowski/status/181673572547309568

I think it’s Monday. Yes, that’s right. 1,2,3,4… 8. It’s the 8th day.

I’ve been speaking with the natives and have brought up my “issues” with them.

THEY NOTHING EXCEPT CONFUSE THE ISSUE AND ATTACK ME!
AT LEAST

I narrowed down the problem somewhat

AND THEY? -CONTRIBUTED NOTHING EXCEPT EMPTY WORDS -NOTHING! ARE YOU BLOWING REALLY HARD ON YOUR KEYBOARD TO PRESS THE KEYS?

I must calm down. That’s not me speaking, that’s just the result of the sleep deprivation. But-

Foot Stomping RAGE!! I WANT MY ADMINISTRATION FIXED NOW NOW NOW -NOW.

Tuesday Day 9

https://twitter.com/#!/jan_dembowski/status/182132419711864832

It’s amazing what some sleep can do to your mood. I was afraid I was losing it a little there for a while.

But it’s all better now and I’ve come to terms with the disintegration of This Just and Divine Administration of mine.

You see, it’s not my fault.

The blame lies at the feet of my followers. They didn’t believe strongly enough and-

THEY ARE COMING FOR ME NOW.

https://twitter.com/#!/jan_dembowski/status/182151096754647040

Hello? This is Lily speaking.

Jan is a little bit tired and will be taking some time off. Nothing to worry about. With some rest and relaxation he will be fine.

The children are also well. They keep snickering about something but I am not sure what they are talking about.

Thank you for your continued support. It is good to be home.