Mostly about my amusement

Category: Humor (page 9 of 12)

One day limo driver

This morning Lily was going to head to LaGuardia airport and catch a plane to Detroit. I was going to head to the office at my regular time and put in a fully productive day at the office.

The person who was going to pick her up forgot.  I ended up getting dressed in record time and driving her to the airport.  She was running late and had to leave NOW.

She made the flight but it was close.  I headed back home and called my boss to apologize for the last minute change in my schedule.  If I headed to the office I’d have gotten into the city almost 2 hours late and I was not sure if I had any conference calls. I don’t like making changes to my work schedule all off a sudden. Do it too often and it’s abusive.

The day worked out but the high point was my being on a call with my 6 year old son stage whispering “Daddy, can I play with the Nintendo DS?” and me pantomiming the reply of “LEAVE NOW OR FACE THE AWESOME WRATH OF DAD”.  All this while replying to people on the call with “Sure, that change should work. Let’s do it Friday after hours”.

Sign language is a parenting tool.

With Lily not coming back until the evening, I had to bathe both kids.  I need to install a power washer; did you know that little girls need hair conditioner?  Boys are much easier. Ivory soap can double as shampoo and no one ever notices on a boy.

Later on it was her turn to play a game but she kept giving the game to her brother.  She also complained often that he’s not letting her play. This is a life lesson for my son: watch out for girls.  That she just gave him the game did not stop her from trying to get him in trouble.

I’m really glad Lily came back today.

Maybe it’s a mocumentary?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=akaD9v460yI

The movie Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed is not getting good reviews. Apparently it’s your basic hatchet job on science.

See this review from the New York Times. With out exception, all the reviews I’ve seen (maybe I’m not reading the “right” web pages) condemn the movie.

Is it possible that this is a joke? Like the movie “This is Spinal Tap”? It’s Ben Stein after all. There is no chance I will go and see this movie in a theater but it sounds like the silly material is set to “Eleven”.

More fun ad placements

CNN has this article about an illegal immigrant who married someone who’s legally in the U.S. but had to go back to Mexico. This seperated the husband from his wife; it’s a sad story and shows some of the real problems that illegal immigrants face.

But what struck me as I read the article was the sidebar advertisement. Ads on websites typically work like this: the advertisement will match up the content. That’s the idea at least.

Here is a picture of the website from my computer.

CNN fun ad

Note the sad picture of the husband crying (nice journalism CNN, you really raised the standard on a serious topic).

Now look at the sidebar ad. I guess the terms “husband”, “wife”, and “love” matched the ad up to the article. At least to another computer.

Iranian dowry laws?

According to BBC news, this guy needs to pay his wife his promised dowry.

It’s 124,000 roses.

His flat got confiscated until he coughs up the roses. He should see if he can negotiate, oh like, do something else instead.

Like writing on a black board 2,000 times:

“I will not be cheap to my wife.

I will not be cheap to my wife.

I will not be cheap to my wife…”

He should not have ticked her off, the law is on her side.

Health advice from a 6 year old

I caught a bug or stomach virus this week.  This morning when I got up to wake the kids, I got taken over by nausea.  Nice post I know but bear with me for a moment.

My son goes to the bathroom and says

“Daddy, you should throw up.  You’ll feel better if you do.”

Medical advise from a 6 year old. I didn’t hurl but I did call in sick; tummy pains are one thing but 90 minutes to the office could go really bad.

10,000 BC movie is missing something

One Million Years BC poster from WikipediaI don’t know anything about this movie really, other than if I ever see it, it will be only when it hits cable. I’ve just looked over the trailer and the movie web site looks just fancy enough to not be too slick.

The Wikipedia page says the main character discovers a lost civilization. Can you call a civilization lost when the movie takes place in 10,000 BC?

It looks like it will be good escapism fun. I can’t wait for all the peopl who will insist “That did not happen! The dates are wrong!”. Independence Day was another Roland Emmerich flick and everyone liked that one. The trailer looks like they got the elements for a fun movie.

But quickly looking over the cast I can make one statement:

If you are going to make a movie called 10,000 B.C. then there ought to be a law saying that Raquel Welch MUST appear in at least a cameo.