Mostly about my amusement

Category: Humor (page 11 of 12)

Mineola train crash and the wrong restaurant

Wow. This image is from Newsday’s web site.

Train and car collision in Mineola, image from Newsday.com

Lily and I usually try to catch the 5:53 PM to Ronkonkoma out of Penn Station. Thursday night all the passengers were told that there was a fatal car accident at Mineola. Luckily that accident was not fatal, in fact the driver was rescued with 10 seconds to spare. But our line was canceled until further notice.

With all the trains not running we figured it would be a couple of hours before we could even get on a train. So we went to look for a good Thai restaurant that we know of. It’s on 48th street between 8th avenue and Broadway, close to 8th. Remember that address.

We went up 8th avenue but turned towards 9th avenue instead. Lily used to work on 50th street and we were wandering around 9th avenue saying “Wow the neighborhood really looks different”.

It was different alright. Lily kept insisting that she would get to this place from work by going out the back of her old building. That was true, but her old building was between Broadway and 8th avenue. Her current building was between 8th and 9th.

I was pretty sure that we were on the wrong avenue and said so. But I did not push the point since I learned many years ago to not contradict my very determined wife.

Eventually we ended up in a different Thai restaurant where I looked up the address of the place we were searching for on my phone. We both got a laugh out of that and I was told “Why didn’t you look that up earlier?” (I had offered to do so, was told not to bother, see earlier point about not contradicting my wife).

We ended up catching the 9:14 PM train.

To the pain

This came up in conversation at work (today it’s applicable).

Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.
Westley: No. To the pain.
Prince Humperdinck: I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won’t be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.
Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing.
Westley: It’s possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]
Westley: DROP… YOUR… SWORD!
[mouth hanging open, drops sword to floor]

The Princess Bride, what a classic.

And how was your Memorial day weekend?

Last Friday the area around my right side burn got swollen and raw. By Saturday afternoon it spread down the right side of my neck.

By Monday (Memorial Day) everyone was reminding me to see a doctor. It was all swollen and hurt a little with pins and needles pain.

Tuesday morning I am in the office. Two of my friends were saying “Wow, you look like crap”. A third friend walked in a little later took of his shades and said “Hey that looks just like Shingles!”

Shingles, as in the same virus that causes chicken pox. That’ll make me popular!

I left work 10 minutes after that, with one of my friends acting like I was infectious. After seeing the doctor, she confirmed it was shingles. I was sure it was just midlife acne or a bad rash caused by a bug bite.

Tuesday and Wednesday the thing began to really hurt. I couldn’t sleep because of the sharp pain. Today it’s hurting much less, shifting into a burning feeling. Shingles is a virus that lives in the nerves. It can’t be cured but with medicine the length of the flare up can hopefully be minimized. My friend had just seen it one someone else who complained about the pain. At the time I was thinking “what pain?” and now a couple of days later I know exactly what he meant.

Both kids have been vaccinated against chickenpox so no worries there. If I can keep the stress down at work and home then I should be fine. As it is, when something make me snarl I get stabbing pains in my neck. No joke.

That will teach me to take it easy from now on 🙂

Quote of the day from Google

Google’s personalized home page gave me this: “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.

– Abraham Lincoln.

Personally I prefer this one “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, and those are pretty good odds.

– Bret Maverick

Not your normal Valentines Day

Ice-and-grassI left work early before 11 this morning. I had to do something that you just can’t do remotely and as soon as it was done, I headed home.

We’ve been hit with an ice storm. Everything is covered in a layer snow and ice. I just got the mail and if it were not for the grass sticking out of the ice I’d have not gotten back to the house in one piece.

Lily’s on her way home. All the LIRR trains are messed up so she is headed to a station that normally we don’t go to. I’m going to get her and leave the kids with my folks.

This is not what I had in mind for Valentines Day! Oh well, Valentines Day really is everyday. Lily and I don’t get gifts for each other (18 years with her this year, there is no way I can surprise her anymore). It’s much more fun to get gifts outside of the holidays.

Wonder if she still wants those diamond earrings…